Playing Cards

"So do you have a big advantage knowing the race course since it's on your local roads?" I was asked a few weeks ago, in reply I said, "Yeah, I can play poker while everyone else plays russian roulette, but there's still a chance I'll get dealt a bad hand or that someone else gets lucky."

So much luck is involved in racing, sure you can be a phenomenal athlete but racing is about luck on so many levels. You train, live, eat and breath cycling, it won't make you a better racer, you need luck. Life is about luck too. There's a lot involved in staying healthy, knowing the hazards ahead and using the cards you're dealt to leverage every advantage - understanding and educating yourself with the knowledge available is akin to counting cards.

I got tired of playing russian roulette with my body and mind so I quit using meth six years ago this February. That's a long time to be clean. It feels great. The euphoric recalls, the difficulties I used to have just making breakfast in the morning no longer persist. I can use a gas range with out thinking about how great it would be to chase puddles on tin foil instead of making a healthy meal. I can light candles without thinking about burning my thumbs. I can drive to places I used to associate with my drug culture past lifestyle without freaking out. Simples things seem simple again.

Sometimes we want to make things more complicated than they need to be. I'm unsure of the psychology, but for some damned reason when things are just fine we find something that is wrong and blow it out of proportion. I'm no exception. I did that, and I played russian roulette with my health. Everyone has their limits of what they are capable of physically and I know for sure what mine are and all I wanted was more because health alone wasn't enough for me. It makes me sick to think I felt this way.

Perspective results from hindsight.

You grow up but you never stop growing - you may be old but you're not too old to learn from your mistakes and make tomorrow better in so many ways.