Nothing special, just ride your bike somewhere.
Doesn't have to be about a destination, you're just cruising.
Sometimes, I don't want to think about anything else but my where my front wheel is pointed.
The other day I had a moment riding. It was just a brief moment. It was equivalent to those times when I'm jamming on my guitar trying to learn a new song and all of the sudden I've got a rhythm, I'm doing a set - it's like sex, getting out there you're unsure of yourself but all of the sudden it's synergy with the machine and the road and it's fucking liberating. Nothing describes it.
I rode with a friend who is going through a tough time right now. She is unsure of a current situation and has a lot of other people helping to inform her opinion in a unilateral way. I like to see things in a bilateral fashion but things are never that way, it's more a omnilateral (is that a word?) thing.
The thing is being human. Human ideology, human social contracts, human sexuality, how these things inform one another until you blur the line between all of them and can't tell what is what. I've always told people I'm not attracted to others physically, it's an intellectual attraction - an attraction to personality above all else. Physical attraction has a place, it's just not number one on my list when I meet someone.
This has given me a different way of seeing humans interact, and a different way in which I audit my own human interactions. The long and the short of it is that she needed to know what she was dealing with was not unusual, in fact, it's totally in the norm from my perspective. Her relationship with an ex has explanation in very simple terms where before I could see that it seemed overly complicated to her.
I feel like all human interaction can be simplified to very simple terms - simple yes, but perhaps informed by complicated underpinnings. People get caught up in the underpinnings. The day-to-day actions of an individual towards other individuals. Those actions are combinations of complex day-in and day-out beliefs often misinformed by a broken social contract that was signed at birth, and followed through on by a person as a member of a household. Not just a physical household but the abstract household of common thought that often binds a family or group of people together. It's a household of ideas that are passed from generation to generation, often without second thought, without and audit of their worth or epistimology. It's this unquestioned dogma that runs people astray, they do not understand there are other ways of thinking and they become absorbed until one day they crack and hurt other people.
My friend got hurt by one of those people and that absolutely sucks. It sucks because she does not deserve it and it sucks because the person who hurt her is loosing the only person within his "household" who has inclinations to be there for him and support him in his current struggle. He doesn't realize that right now. He will though. He'll wake up one day and realize his mistake and make amends but for the current moment his struggles with his social contract, his household of ideas and people who believe in those ideas will continue to make lame any type of meaningful relationships and movement forward as a healthy individual.
I understand this type of person because I've been there. I've done that. I saw my grass wasn't green. I knew my sun hadn't risen. I understood that there was another way but had not been experienced to find that way. I sit here today with more experience, but it's not over. This road is long and I ride it everyday. Like any ride you go up, you go down, you have tail winds and you have head winds. Sometimes you've gotta put your head down and grind and other times you're cruising.
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